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Before discussing the importance of self-care for black women, we need to define self-care.
Self-care is the act of actively engaging in activities that support the pillars of wellness. These pillars include mental, spiritual, physical, social, occupational, intellectual, financial and environmental wellness.
Specifically, Self-care for black women has become a growing topic of conversation over the last few years, and rightfully so. As views around self-care start to shift from a negative undertone of being selfish, more black women are finding true happiness and discipline through their personal self-care choices.
Nature vs Nurture
The underrated truth is most black women struggle with prioritizing self care. From childhood, black women are plagued with adult responsibilities, with emphasis being placed on taking care of the needs of others. Black women have learned to nurture and sacrifice. However, this nurture and sacrifice has been to the detriment of the individual.
Most black women take on caretaker roles as children, by looking after siblings, younger family members and attending to aging grandparents in the home. Even today, Black women are overrepresented in caregiving work.1 Subsequently, they also lead the percentage of children raised in single-mother households at 45.7% compared to less than 25% of other races.2
In all this care for others, black women lean to find personal value based on how much they can perform for others and have overlooked the requirement to reciprocate that energy to themselves. They have become acclimated to the idea of sacrificing themselves for their loved ones and hyper-independence. This is why self-care is imperative for black women.
COmmon Misconceptions and how they are harmful
1. Strong Black woman
There are many harmful stigmas floating around society surrounding black women about who they are or who they should be. I’m sure you’ve heard women being described as “strong black women” because they are dealing with and pushing through generational burdens or unfortunate life circumstances, including domestic violence, sole provider and caretaker roles, wage disparities, poverty, etc.
The strong black woman stigma has even been worn as a badge of honor in the black community. Even though, this often leads to unmet needs. Black women are expected to “deal with it” or “push through” with grace. We are a resilient people, but that does not mean we must deal with our issues alone.
2. Black Girl Magic
Having “Black Girl Magic” is another disadvantage black women face. When misunderstood, Black girl magic may lead others to believe black women are superhuman.
Black women are not mythical or superhuman. Our magic is in our realness, our love, and the way we rally around one another.
Jenee Osterheldt, -“What we mean by Black Girl Magic“
This false belief may also show up in the workplace, where it is notorious for perpetuating harmful stigma of black women. According to the Status of Black Women Executive Summary,3 80.6% of black women are the breadwinners for their families. This information is important because we often bring our nurturing into the workplace by taking on additional projects to exemplify worthiness. At 80.6%, this may affect a large number of women. The expectation to overperform in a role, with the only immediate incentive of being known as a ‘hard worker”, is troubling because even so, black women are less likely to be promoted to manager positions compared to their counterparts.
In the BWT Report of 2022,4 72% of black women participate in code-switching; Changing language, style of dress, hairstyles, etc., to assimilate with their counterparts. The need to perform to feel accepted, limit microaggressions, and navigate stereotypes in the workplace opens the door to chronic workplace stress, leading to burnout and adverse health effects.
3. Angry Black Woman
Similar to “Black Girl Magic”, “Angry Black Woman” also shows up in the workplace. This pervasive stereotype not only characterizes Black women as more hostile, aggressive, overbearing, illogical, ill-tempered and bitter, According to the Harvard report, research has found that when some people see a Black woman become angry, they’re likely to attribute that anger to her personality — rather than an inciting situation.5
Self care for black women and health
With all, black women must overcome in the family unit, society, and in the workplace, while also breaking down barriers, this can take a toll on their mental health. Not to mention the noted statistics:
Black women of all ages were twice as likely to be imprisoned as White women,
40% of black women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime compared to 31% of all other races per the Status of Black Women Executive Summary.
To the contrary, black women are still increasing percentages in businesses owned as well as degrees earned. Yet, there still are not many resources specifically designed to support black women with mental health as they work to release the cultural stigma surrounding it.
ABC News sat down with Michelle Williams, who speaks openly about her history of depression. Williams said “Mental health struggles can look different in women of color. Irritability is a missed symptom of depression, because we think depression is just sadness.”6
Black women who do not prioritize regular self-care are more likely to suffer from health ailments including but not to limit, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, breast and cervical cancer and mental health illnesses such as depression and anxiety regardless of our many societal achievements.
This is where self-care steps in. It’s important that we begin to look inward and not seek validation externally. We can do this through the 7 self-care practices below.
7 ways black women can practice self care now
1. Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance can benefit black women in self-care by allowing them to recognize their worth and prioritize their own well-being without seeking external validation.
2. Prioritizing Mental Health
Understand your unique challenges to better address them, evaluate what may be causing stress, and create a plan to decrease the effects of this burden. Take action to release any stigmas surrounding mental health you may have learned. Needing help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. So, If you need to speak to a mental health professional, please view the online therapy resources below:
3. Listen to your body
Your worth is not tied to how much you perform. So, Get rest when you are tired, use your personal time, and move your body to eliminate stress and increase overall health.
4. Set boundaries at work, with friends, and family
Setting boundaries allows you to reserve your energy for what is important to you. You are not required to sacrifice your time, energy, or sanity. Practice disconnecting from the expectations of others. It may sound simple, but practice saying “no.” You would not believe how much stress could be reduced by simply saying “no.”
5. Find activities Related to your interests
Participate in activities that allow you to increase your knowledge, skills, and abilities in areas that are important to you.
- Join a club
- Start a hobby
- Attend a workshop
- Volunteer
6. Journal
As women, we may hold a lot of tension that creates unnecessary stress. Get your thoughts out on paper. Writing can be a releasing and therapeutic activity that can help you release this tension and reduce stress.
The journal prompts below will get you started.
- In what areas of your life can you take better care of yourself? How can you start taking better care of yourself in those areas?
- What are your biggest strengths? How can you use them to achieve your goals?
- What are the most important things you have learned in life so far?
7. Support Black Women
We have to rebuild the level of support for black women, and it will need to start with us. Listen to other black women and provide support where you can. You may do this by simply listening to understand and validating a black woman’s experience without rushing to find a solution for them or dismissing their concern.
You may also advocate for black women through organizations in your area and volunteerism at domestic violence shelters and spaces that cater to alleviate the disparities of black women.
Self-care for black women is crucial for overall well-being and happiness. It’s important to recognize and challenge the harmful stigmas and misconceptions that surround black women in society and prioritize self-preservation and self-acceptance. By actively engaging in activities that support the 8 pillars of wellness and seeking support from a community that uplifts and understands the unique challenges black women face, we can work towards breaking down barriers and achieving mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s time for black women to embrace self-care as a powerful tool for empowerment, healing, and resilience.
- Black women have a legacy of caregiving that deserves a policy response ↩︎
- Living Arrangements of Children: 2019 ↩︎
- The Status of Black Women in the United States, Executive Summary ↩︎
- Black Women Thriving BWT Report: 2022 ↩︎
- The “Angry Black Woman” Stereotype at Work ↩︎
- Black women suffer disproportionately from superwoman schema ↩︎
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission, at no cost to you 🌻, should you make a purchase through a link.
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